Touch
by MisunderstoodMind
Summary: Its in the middle of the night when Tom stops by Sasha's cabin and brings her dinner - Set after the Tomsha moment at the mess in 4.07
1. chapter 1

**_Thanks Vicky for betaing again!_**

 _Whatever is broken we can fix it_ , her own words still echoed through her head as she randomly flipped through the pages of Vellek's notebook, trying to make sense of the doctor's recordings. Even though she was determined to stay focused on the mission at hands her mind kept on drifting back to the moment Tom had taken her hand in the mess.

 _Before I left, you told me that whatever is broken, we can fix it and you were right. You were right then and you're right now_ , she heard his voice echoing through her head.

 _But what if I wasn't right?_

 _What if we can't fix it in time?_

 _What if we can't find Vellek and his lab?_

 _What if we find him when it's already too late to make the crops we need?_

 _What if he doesn't want to cooperate and we can't make the crops?_

She couldn't help but wonder what would happen if their mission would fail while she stared at a page full of chemical and biological formulas.

 _If James were here … maybe he would be able to…,_ she thought to herself but quickly dismissed the thought as she realized where it would lead her if she would allow herself to wallow in her emotions.

"Don't, Cooper!" Sasha hissed at herself, pressing her hands into her face while she took a deep breath in order to stop herself from thinking about James Fletcher and and his betrayal, of both her and the crew

 _You don't want to go there, you're not going to let your emotions take over_ , she took a shaky reath, trying to block out the memories of her time with Fletcher.

"Get back to work." She ordered herself as she reached for the notebook when she suddenly heard a soft knock on her cabin door. Glancing at her watch Sasha realized that it was almost midnight, so she figured that the only reason that someone would bother her so late would be to tell her they'd finally managed to crack the encryption of Vellek's data

"Come in!" Sasha called, turning her head towards the door just in time Tom Chandler step into the room

"Tom?" She asked a little surprised to see him this late.

"I happened to stop by the wardroom and saw something that apparently belongs to you." He explained quickly while he shot the door with hand while he perfectly balanced the tray with his other hand. "You should eat." He added firmly while he walked over to her desk, ignoring the various notebooks and notes as he placed the tray right in front of her.

"You can have it" Sasha quickly dismissed his offer, while she took the tray and placed it on to the other side of her desk. "Or ask someone from the crew or the refugees. Lord knows they deserve it more than I do." She replied while Tom walked around her to other side of her desk, leaning against it as she turned around to face him.

"Sasha…" he sighed, realizing that this wouldn't go as easily as he had imagined it would be, even though he knew how stubborn she could be.

"What, Tom?" she asked, her tone a little harsher than she had intended to as she glared at him.

"STOP punishing yourself for Fletcher's actions." Tom simply told her as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"This isn't punishment for anything, Tom. I just don't see why _I_ should allow myself to take a few minutes and eat while the rest of the world is starving…" she trailed off while, lowing her head as her eyes scanned over the notebooks again. "…. because _I_ let Fletcher jump off the ship with the seeds."

She whispered, hoping that Tom hadn't heard her as her mind once again decided to torture her with the memory of her failure.

"It's not _your_ fault and you know it. _We_ trusted him, the crew trusted him. So stop punishing yourself for god's sake. We need you to finish this mission and what good are you going to be if you starve yourself, because of a single mistake the whole crew made?" Tom shot back.

"One mistake I made, that had ultimately cost us the seeds and the end of this god damn mission." She corrected him stubbornly, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she looked up at him again.

"Fine, but still it doesn't change a thing. It isn't _your_ fault. Do _you_ want to help the people, those refugees out there?" Tom asked pointing at the door. " _You_ want to get those seeds back and kick Fletcher's ass for what he had done? Then start to save yourself and eat for god's sake, Sasha! _I_ need you to be at your best to finish this mission." Tom told her, pushing himself away from her desk as pulled the tray back to stand right in front of her.

"By the way, I know that you will love the little extra I got for you once you have finished your meal." Tom added before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss onto her cheek, inhaling her sweet scent of vanilla as he allowed himself to pause for a moment. "Enjoy your dinner. You deserve it." He murmured against her skin, causing her to shiver slightly as she couldn't help but enjoy the moment, before Tom got up and wordlessly left her alone with her thoughts.

For a moment Sasha simply stared at the tray in front of her as if she was trying to figure out what his little extra would be. Probably nothing because he wants you to eat, Sasha thought as she took a deep breath in order to get rid of the warm feeling that Tom had caused and somehow was still coursing through her body as she removed the lid.

 _See, nothing special_ , Sasha told herself feeling a little disappointed when she noticed that it was exactly the same menu she had seen before in the mess, but then she noticed a tiny piece of neatly folded paper sticking between her apple and the plate. For a few seconds Sasha eyed it suspiciously, before her curiosity took over and she picked it up. Noticing that something was wrapped inside the paper, she carefully unfolded it before she gasped in surprise.

 _What the… How did he… Where did he find that?_ She wondered when she spotted a small piece of chocolate.

 _Tom Chandler_ , shaking her head with a soft smile on her lips as she noticed that there was although a note on the paper. Carefully Sasha picked up her piece of pure tasty heaven and placed it on the tray before she unfolded the rest of the paper.

 ** _It's not much, but I know that it will make you smile._**

 ** _Never give up hope, because we will fix this together!_**

 ** _\- Tom_**

"We will, Tom." Sasha whispered with a smile on her lips. "Thank you." She added and then she picked up her fork and finally allowed herself to eat again.

Minutes later, Sasha had finished her meal and was savouring the chocolate Tom had brought her. She suddenly started to wonder where he got it from, because she knew that there wasn't any chocolate left on the ship. She knew that she shouldn't ask where he got it from, that she should simply appreciate his gesture, thank him and move on, but somehow, she couldn't stop herself from wondering.

So, without thinking about her actions and what kind of trouble they could bring Sasha got up from her chair and headed out of her cabin. Luckily the p-ways were empty around midnight as she walked towards Tom's cabin. She just reached the bottom when her common sense suddenly kicked in and she realized that this was wrong.

 _What the hell am I even doing here?_ She asked herself, when she had reached his door. _You can thank him tomorrow when you see him again, not in the middle of the night. He will think…,_ Sasha didn't manage to finish her thoughts because the next thing she knew she was knocking on his door.

"Come in." She heard his muffled voice through the door, knowing that it was too late to leave Sasha pushed the door open.

"Sasha, is everything ok?" Tom asked, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was shirtless, wearing just a pair of black sweatpants as he was about to get to bed

"Yeah, uhm…. great! Actually, I was… uhm…" Sasha stumbled over her words as she had to force herself to meet his gaze, because her eyes kept on zeroing on his bare chest.

 _How the hell was I able to forget how ripped he is,_ she wondered as she couldn't stop herself from gazing up and down his firm chest, gorgeously defined abs . _Delicious_ , Sasha thought to herself.

"Uhm, I was just stopping by to… uhm, thank you for the chocolate." She added, once again forcing her eyes to meet his. "Your welcome." He shrugged with a grin on his lips, noticing that Sasha was obviously struggling to hold his gaze. "Do you want me to put my shirt back on or…?"

"No" she shook her head, blushing a little as she realized that he had caught her checking him out. "I've seen worse and by the way it's nothing that I haven't seen before." She told him while she leant back against the sink, crossing her arms over her chest in an effort to regain control. Her hands itched to reach out and touch him, run her fingers through his silver locks, even though she knew it was all kinds of stupid right now.

"True." Tom shrugged as he ran his hand through his hair. "So, is there anything else you wanted to say?" He asked after a few minutes of silence had passed.

"Actually, I wanted to apologize again for what I'd said earlier. You didn't deserve it and I certainly shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Sasha, I deserved..." Tom tried to tell her again that he in fact deserved her little outburst earlier.

"No, Tom. You didn't. But I was angry with myself for losing control. If it wouldn't have been for you I probably would've pulled the trigger. And then the way James betrayed me it reminded me…" Sasha trailed off as she lowered her head, leaving his gaze as she took a deep breath. "It reminded me of when you walked off the ship and…" She took another deep breath before she finally looked up to meet his gaze again. "…and left me."

"Sasha" He exhaled as he took a step towards her. "I know how feel and I know how you would've felt if you would've pulled that trigger. And honestly as much as I want revenge and justice for him killing a friend of mine I don't want you to go through the things I've been through for what I did on the plane 16 months ago." He told her while he took another step towards her. "I'm sorry that I left and that I never contact you. But I needed that time off, the kids needed me and I was in no state to lead after what happened." Tom explained as he held her gaze, hoping that she would understand where he was coming from, but again she remained silent as stared into his eyes.

"You know, when you kissed me goodbye I was hoping that our kiss would change your mind and you would stay, because… I don't know…" she shrugged. "It didn't feel like a goodbye to me" Sasha pressed her lips into a thin line as her mind took her back to that damn moment 16 months ago. "And when you left it felt like you'd died and had taken a part of me with you… it broke my heart." She admitted, unfolding her arms while Tom took another step towards her.

"I never meant to hurt you I'm sorry, Sasha." Tom replied, holding her gaze while Sasha made the last step and closed the gap between them as she reached up and simply wrapped her arms around his neck.

Instinctively Tom wrapped his arms around her waist, placing his hand on the low of her back as he pulled her against his body. Not leaving her gaze he watched her biting her bottom lip before he finally leant down and softy brushed his lips over hers before he gently nipped at her bottom lip, asking for her permission to go further.

 ** _cliffhanger ;) As always reviews, likes and follows are always appreciated!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you for all the reviews, likes and follows_** ** _! Today is my birthday and this update is my present for you! This is the final chapter of Touch but I already have a whole storyline for Heal and another post season 4 series on my mind ;)_**

Feeling him tug gently on her lower lip, Sasha softly smile against his lips before she opened hers allowing him to slide his tongue in as a soft whimper escaped her lips. Slipping her fingers into his short silver locks on the back of his head Sasha pulled him closer relishing the warmth of his bare chest while she moulded her body against his as she slowly kissed him back.

Meeting his tongue with each gentle stroke Sasha found herself getting carried away by the moment allowing herself to feel something other than the pain, anger and heartache that she had felt for the past 48 hours. It was that familiarity of his soft lips pressed against hers, the way he held her in his strong arms combined with the way their tongues deliberately slow danced with each other that suddenly gave her a sense of comfort, something she realized had been missing for the last 16 months. It all made her realize again how strong her connection with Tom still was. She had loved James but deep in her heart she knew that she would never have The kind of connection with him that she'd had with Tom.

When the need for air forced them to separate. Sasha kept her eyes closed, a soft smile on her lips as she savored the moment knowing that all too soon reality would intrude, and this blissful moment would be over. Opening her eyes, it didn't surprise her when she found Tom already staring at her a smile on his lips as he reached up and cupped her slightly flushed cheek.

"Tom" Sasha's voice was soft, barely above a whisper as she felt him carefully tracing his thumb over her cheekbone.

"Sasha" Tom responded, his voice equally soft and low, knowing that his voice would give her the comfort, the calmness she'd needed so badly during these desperate times

Closing her eyes Sasha took a deep breath, allowing her to enjoy the warmth of his skin under her slender fingers. Releasing her grip on his neck, Sasha traced her hands down over his shoulders, and down his chest, where she stopped, resting her hands above his heart. The warmth of his skin and his steady heart beat it all felt so familiar, so good it made her realize that this was what she needed now. She still needed him, no matter how hard she had tried to move on with James, she still loved Tom.

Slowly she opened her eyes again meeting his gaze while she bit her bottom lip before she tilted her head and kissed him again, pouring everything that she was, everything she'd ever felt for him into that one kiss, hoping to feel the same in return. Fire, strength, softness, comfort it all felt so good and to her surprise Tom started to kiss her back with equal love and passion. Using the hand he still had splayed on her lower back, Tom pulled her against his body, forcing her to drop the hand that she had on his chest to his waistband, pressing himself against her slender figure.

She didn't know what precisely made her so bold, maybe it was because she needed and wanted to feel more of him or maybe it was because she knew soon common sense would kick in and stop them from crossing that invisible line. But the moment she felt both of his hands on her back again Sasha slipped her hands down his back, and slipped them down his sweatpants. Tracing her fingertips over his firm backside Sasha waited a moment for him to stop them but when he didn't, she simply grabbed his butt and pulled him closer, drawing a soft moan from his lips. Smiling against his lips Sasha traced her hands up to his hips again where she grabbed the waistband of his pants ready to pull them down when Tom suddenly pulled back from her lips.

"Sasha…" he breathed against her lips as he grabbed her hands and stopped her. "Not like this" He told her even though his body language told her the opposite as he didn't pushed her away.

"Are you sure?" Sasha asked back, knowing that his common sense has reared its head and there was no chance in hell that he would cross that line.

"I am." He told her firmly while he let go of her hands and reached up to cup her face again. "This isn't the right place, Sasha. You know it."

"I know…" she nodded and she knew he was right, but still should couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he would just let her have her way with him.

"I would like to…. But not like this…" Tom told her when he noticed a hint of disappointment in her eyes as his hands slipped to the back of her head. "I don't want this to be fast and messy, Sasha. I want it to be… slow and gentle… the way you deserved to be loved, Sasha. It's the way it is supposed to be if we both are in it for sure." He told her while he sunk his hands into her brown hair massaging her head gently, helping her to relax once more.

"And when is this slow and gentle moment going to be? Because from the way _I_ see it it's never going to happen." She asked ignoring his gentle touch as she suddenly snapped at him. "Did you see the world, Tom? It's not like we get to take a breath once we have the seed. We still have to grow them and then deliver the plants to the people and before that we have to make sure those people won't starve. It's not over yet!" she told him firmly.

"I know that this isn't over, but once we have the seeds and we'll get home there'll be a moment…" Tom replied gently before Sasha cut him off.

"And what if we won't make it? What if one of us will not make it? What then, Tom?" Sasha asked him stepping back, forcing him to let go of her as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Should I just move on with the next guy who will stab me in the back the minute I trust him completely or will you find yourself another pretty girl who will give you shitty nicknames?" Sasha glared, a mixture of anger and disappointment in her crystal blue eyes.

"Oh shit…" Sasha muttered when she suddenly realized what she had just said. _What the hell is wrong with me? I_ 've never been so damn emotional before , she buried her face into her hands and lowered her head, not daring to look into his eyes as she was sure that she had hurt his feelings with her emotional rant.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… It's just with everything that had…" Sasha tried to apologize and explain her point of view but she immediately stopped when she felt him cupping her face with both hands.

"Sasha" Tom sighed softly as he stepped forward, closing the gap the between them. "It's okay that you feel that way." He told her while he pulled her head up, forcing her to meet his gaze. "And I know that I can't promise you that we will make it out of this, but we can and we will fight to survive you know it."

"It's just with everything that had happened…" Sasha trailed off taking a deep breath as she finally managed to hold his gaze again. "I'm not so sure if we will be able to make it this time. This world… this god damn game each time…" she trailed off. "Its exhausting"

"It is." Tom agreed, recalling the traumatic events and emotional maelstrom that had driven him to leave the James 16 months ago. "You should get some rest." He told her while tracing his thumb over her cheekbones again not leaving her out of his sight.

"You know, its against regulations…" he stopped for a moment as he debated if this, if _she_ was worth bending _that_ rule for. Then Tom recalled what exactly it was he'd needed when he was as devastated as Sasha was. "... But if you want you can stay for the night? I'll make sure that no one will see you when you leave."

"I don't know." Sasha took a deep breath. Staying with Tom for the night was tempting, knowing that he could provide the comfort that she needed to get some rest, but she also knew that Tom, anything could happen if they wanted it to.

"I'll keep my hands above your waist. I promise." Tom added in a playful manner while raising his hands up as if he knew what was going through Sasha's mind.

"Who said that I would complain?" She asked playfully, raising her eyebrow.

"You never complained." He told her with a grin on his lips as he remembered the countless times he had taken her to his bed over a decade ago.

"So how about we cuddle up together and I'll wake you before shift changes?" Tom asked reaching for her hands.

"Fine" Sasha replied as she unfolded her arms and took his hand into her.

"So do you need anything? A shirt or…? Tom trailed off as couldn't help but feel a little awkward about their situation as he once again remembered what it used to be between them.

"A shirt would be good." Sasha's voice brought him back to reality. "I could go and get my own." Offering him an out. She wanted so badly to stay, but it still felt awkward with all they'd been through. Releasing the grip he hand on her hands Tom stepped over to his closet were pulled out one of his Nathan James shirt and handed it to her.

"I won't look." He told her with a smile as he tried to lighten up the situation.

"Really?" Sasha asked a little surprised as she started to take off her shirt while Tom turned around, heading for his bunk.

"Because if I remember correctly it's nothing that you haven't seen before." she added playfully she slipped into his shirt.

"True." Tom replied as he got into bunk, facing the wall as he didn't dare to turn around, because he knew what could happen if he were to risk a sneak peak at the beautiful, raven haired woman who had re-entered his life.

"Let's just say I'd like to wait until there is…" he stopped when he felt the mattress shifting under her weight as she crawled into the empty space beside him.

"Lair" she told him, a soft smile on her lips as she slipped under his blanket.

"I'm not lying. I just want to do this right and not screw things up again." He told her while he rolled over to face her, placing his head on his arm, allowing him to catch her gaze. Holding his gaze Sasha instinctively slipped her hand around his waist.

"Me too" Sasha replied, unable to stop herself smiling as Tom reached up and caressed her cheek with his left hand. For a while neither of them wanted to speak as they continued to hold each other's gaze, savoring this rare moment of peace. Embracing the moment of comfort and tenderness Sasha felt herself relax once more, knowing this was just what she'd needed.

"You never answered my question." Sasha broke the silence as she mirrored his position and placed her head onto her hand causing Tom to raise his eyebrow. "The day before yesterday when I asked you if you were jealous." She added when she noticed his curious expression

"Sasha" Tom took a deep breath. "Why can't you just enjoy the moment?" He asked back as he still caressed her cheek, hoping that she would leave the topic and relax again.

I _am_ enjoying this" she shrugged leaning into his hand. "But you still owe me an answer." She replied still staring into his eyes as if she was trying to read his mind.

"Maybe a little bit." He admitted as he remembered the moment where James had saved him from answering her question two days ago.

"You know…" Sasha trailed off a soft smile on her lips as she pulled her hand out from under the blanket and cupped his cheek. "There's no need for you to be jealous" she told him while she caressed his cheek with her thumb, knowing that she had his attention. "After you'd left I was broken but after a while I moved on or at least I thought I'd moved on with him. But when I saw you again… I don't know what happened" Sasha shook her head. "Everything came back… the anger, the love… everything...when you rejoined us…It made me realize that I never really stopped loving you." She confessed, watching Tom's jaw drop and his eyes widen.

"Are you sure?" He asked using his other hand to tuck a few loose strains of her dark hair behind her ear, not leaving her gaze as she nodded. "My feelings for you have never changed. I still love you."

"I love you too." Tom replied a soft smile on his lips.

For a moment neither of them said another word, both finding themselves lost in the moment as Tom slowly leaned forward. Brushing his lips over hers as his hand slipped to the back of her head, pulling her closer for another tender kiss

"You know what's funny?" Tom asked the moment he had pulled away from her soft lips. "I feel the same way about you. Seeing again it brought back all those memories that I'd tried to forget over the past year and it made me realize that my feelings for you hadn't changed at all"

"Destiny." Sasha simply stated causing Tom to raise his eyebrow. "It has brought us back together. I mean just look at it, everything has happened to a reason. So maybe this…" Sasha removed her hand from his cheek and pointed at him and then at herself. "Is destiny's plan for us." She explained a soft smile on her lips as she place placed her hand back on to his cheek.

"If _this…_ " Tom trailed off his hand tracing down her throat to her shoulder and up to her chin where he stopped and placed his index finger under it . "Is destiny's plan for us ...well I like it"

"You think or you know?" Sasha asked holding his gaze while her hand traced over his cheek to his ear.

"I'm sure I will." Tom told her, leaning in for another soft kiss. "But for now destiny's plan for us is to get some rest before we will save the world again."

"Fine." Sasha nodded while Tom rolled onto his back pulling Sasha with him so she was lying on his bare chest. "Good night." He reached up and turned off the light before he slipped his hand around her waist again.

"Good night, Tom." Sasha sighed while she placed her hand on his chest, over his heart, before she closed her eyes and then they both fell asleep.


End file.
